The Other Woman

The mere title grabs ones attention, many immediately think that this will be some sort of tell all down and dirty expunge of  a situation in my life, sorry to disappoint you but this is not the case. It is rather a sort of amalgamation of different situations, scenarios and past experiences all rolled into one package here in blog land.

The first other woman we encounter in our lives as adult females is often the mother of someone we are dating, in love or lust with, someone we are married to, divorced from, ad infinitum. We try to understand this other woman, often times it is easy, other times not easy at all.  We can also see into the future when we see the interaction between the male and this female that has served an important role in the life of the man we are involved with. If he treats her well, we can think perhaps this is how he will value us in days to come. If her treats her skeptically and with little care we then wonder, is this how he will treat all women, or did he have a rough experience growing up? So many different situations come into play and we are left to attempt to figure out the true situation by sifting through all the evidence, so to speak. Not an easy task by any means whatsoever, and we need to be a educated armchair psychologist at the very least to undertake such a task. If the situation gets colored by that cloudy element of love, then we tend to discount many things that perhaps later we will wish we had paid better attention and time to. Love being the fickle entity that it is, we often put many things aside for the heart though the mind should work harder to remain in the forefront.

Fast forward several years, the next other woman can be our own daughters, we have a unique relationship with them as they have with their fathers. At times it is a push me pull me kind of roller coaster ride, but most often the ultimate outcome is one of pride and a new found ability to better understand another female, especially one we have had a direct hand in raising from child to young adult. This also sets the tone for her relationships with other women, and hopefully you have instilled good values for the treatment of others in this being you have born.

Some of us get to another fork in the road, we divorce, or end relationships we have crafted as carefully as we know how and have the ability to. We try to end things gracefully, sometimes it just does not work out that way no matter how hard we try. Time passes on and we forgive, as we have been taught and learn is best for us to do for our own sakes as well as the sake of others. We take the lesson from the relationship that we hopefully have learned and try to utilize it in future relationships so that it can benefit ourselves and others in some small way.Seems some of us are unable to take the lesson and we end up mired in hatred and loathing, wasted time on wasted emotions. We then end up being the other woman in our own life.

Another place we find ourselves at is discovering the other woman is not a past thing, but very much a present place in the life of a person of interest in our life. They vehemently deny they even think about them, but the mere fact they talk hatefully of them, give credence to whatever place they had in past life situations, and in secret, they are still communicating with them via email, text or phone. When this discovery is made, one feels such a mixture of emotions, anger, shock, disgust, a myriad that just tumbles our minds to places we do not like them to travel to at all.We know that when the past is not in  the past, there are definite issues still hanging on the clothesline. Sometimes we just need to take the laundry down, and wash it all again.Or perhaps we need to do some mending and fix things. Other times we need to get a totally new wardrobe. What path one takes depends entirely on each individual, and their tolerance to abiding things as they are, working to change them, or just wanting a totally new situation all together.
 ~balance in all things~