Words and Actions

People talk all the time about doing things, sometimes they are speaking of trivial items, such as chores they need to accomplish in their household, or errands they need to run. Other times they are speaking of life and all the intricacies involved therein, about the things they need to do for life to be good, for it to improve, for it to be more serene and calmer. In both cases actions have to take place for things to occur, if one just speaks the words and does not apply action to the intent, nothing will take place and things will remain static, unchanged. In short, words need to match actions and vice verse.All the talk in the world will not make it so, and all the actions untied to any framework or reference will not fall into place and achieve the desired effect and affect.

One of my co-workers talks all the time about a relationship of theirs, how it is going nowhere, how they need to break free from it and change their lives. After less than one day of  their divestment of the relationship, they are right back into the thick of it, and wondering why things are the same. I asked them why they continue to repeat the same actions again and again, but expect different results. I posed to them that perhaps they need to re-define this relationship, not toss it out but work systematically to change where it is going. The answer I get is that their partner does nothing to change so why should they? They also state they really have not and do not discuss their dissatisfaction with the current direction of things with them, I point out that without open and direct communication, one can not expect the other person to have knowledge of what is going on, what is desired, and what the other expects, wants and needs.If you keep taking dough, sauce and cheese, you will always get pizza of one variety or another, and maybe pizza is not what they are looking for. A basic understanding of the importance of true communication is what is missing from this persons equation, they just keep running headlong into the same brick wall that they continue to reinforce with the same mortar and brickwork.

Words are truly meaningless unless the actions that go along with them accompany the thoughts and intents carried within the words. I can liken it to a politicians promise at election time, fervent words spoken repeatedly to gain followers and support, but then the words are rarely carried to fruition. The same holds true in everyday situations.You can promise all you want in terms of things you will do, ways you feel about or for someone, but if you do not follow the words with deeds that show and reinforce the feelings, things that accomplish the promised task, you build a wall of disappointment, and of broken promises and expectations never delivered upon.

I was taught at the knee to not promise things you cannot deliver, and for the most part have striven to do this whenever possible.When I cannot deliver, I re-define what I have promised and try to approach it from another angle. What it boils down to is just doing what is needed to make things happen, and when a hurdle gets in the way, figure out how to step over, around or under it. In a partnership, BOTH need to be active listeners and do-ers. Sitting on the sidelines watching does not work very well, nor does standing on a podium and making promises one never acts upon. Mean what you say and say what you mean. When things get stalled, get in a huddle and figure out what needs to happen for the plan to come to being.Nothing should truly ever be fifty-fifty, with each putting half in. Rather it should be one-hundred/one-hundred, both giving it their all . Then the whole will always exceed the sum parts and present as more than one expects. Getting more than one planned for in a positive action plan is never a bad thing.
 ~balance in all things~