Tangled Webs of Deceit

Perhaps Sir Walter Scott said it the best, " Oh what a tangled web we weave, When first we practice to deceive."  I wonder what makes people resort to the practice in the first place, it would seem that they had motives that drove them to wander from what the truth is and hide behind lies and perhaps a few half-truths. The motives may have been to spare people from getting or being hurt. I think much of the time they resort to deceit for their own purposeful gain, and to perhaps have the best of both worlds, or even escape from the reality of their life that they may find to be less than what the desire or feel they need to have to feel as though they are fulfilled and happy adults . The problem lies in when the person having the truth kept from them finds out what the truth is. Often times one wants to deny that they have been on the receiving end of deceit and deception. I know I have felt that way. When a partner in your life is seeing another, when they are supposedly betrothed to you, it hurts in a way one never forgets. It makes one mistrust and having to learn all over again how and when to trust others, and believe they are worthy of someone being honest with them and valuing how they feel. For this woman, the same holds true in important people in their life withholding  important facets of information from them, or distortion of the facts to avoid having confrontation or questioning. In a truly open relationship, of course we cannot know every bit about one another, but we hope that honesty and trust can lead each other to have value and respect for one another. For me I have learned to forgive, but forgetting is the impossible part for me to ever learn to do. It diminishes over time, but forever it remains, much like a carved message on a tree that continues to grow and change, but the mark left on it remains, becoming a part of the tree forever. Information withheld, becomes secretive, although it may be far from what the fact of the matter is. Making something clandestine serves to make it seem forbidden, perhaps exciting if not more important than it truly is or ever was meant to be. Sure some things are not meant for everyone or even anyone to share, but repeated acts of secrecy and hidden relations end up making things look as though they are something to hide and be ashamed of. If a relationship is important enough and wholesome, nothing needs to be hidden or covert. If it is a friend you need to stay in touch with from the past, then stay in touch but openly without hiding it from others who may interpret it as something else all together different than what it appears to be to them. You see my dear and wise readers, when one makes something a forbidden fruit, it creates doubts where there previously were none or few. It makes something that may be harmless , into something harmful.  People need to be honest with one another, if it is of value make each other understand what your needs are and work together to create the relationship that you need to be in place to get your mutual needs met, both physically and emotionally. Physical needs without the balance of emotional needs in tandem make for a scale that is tipped to one side that will truly never fulfill your life the way you truly want and need it to be.
~balance in all things~