Since I was made aware that today is National Best Friend Day by a past school friend, it seized me as the perfect opportunity to discuss the issue of friends and the types of friendships we forge over the years. Perhaps I will define the types of friendship I believe most of us have and have had. We first of all have childhood friends, those we meet in our youth, remain friends with through our grade school days, and, if we are lucky, far beyond. When we truly forge great friendships at this age, we can be lucky and stay in regular and active contact with these friends.
Often times, the next friend we have are the college or work friends. People we see each and every day either in classes or at our work venue. We get to know them through this daily exchange and many times it continues outside of the workplace and beyond our terms at college or our tenure at our jobs.
Next may come the friends we make when we have children, often they can be neighbors we meet, parents of our children's
We continue to make friends throughout our lives, at workplaces, hobby and learning environments, support groups and the whole gamut of social interaction, including electronic social media. Due to the changeable nature of life itself, our friendships often become transient, people move away from the area, the job, or even from us. We lose friends through arguments, even through death. Nevertheless, their influence in our love remains for the balance of our existence.
At my age, my closest friends are from past work places , college days and my children's grade school days. They were in my life at a time where things for me were changing, and I needed their wisdom, and ability to help me remain stable and for them to be sounding boards for my issues, feelings and decisions. They have remained the backbone of what I consider true and unconditional friendship. Unfortunately my friends from childhood are are no longer pivotal in my life. I value what they contributed to me way back when, but we have not stayed in contact in many ways, though no part of either party involved. Sometimes I am able to read some of their blogs and postings on social media and through a few phone conversations with some. I come to the realization that we have commuted to different ways and means of life, and have spun out of one another's circles. The relationships are over for the most part, but the memories remain etched indelibly into our hears and minds. At this point in my life I also have some decent work friends, but only a few of these overlap outside the workplace boundaries. This group is especially important, as I spend a good share of ten hour days, forty hour weeks and part of the weekend with them. These friends entertain me, and I them. We often give one another feedback and support both inside and outside of the work place.
My dearest friends are those I do not see often, but whenever we do get together, it is like we pick up a well loved novel and are able to take up right where we last left off. We catch up as best and as often as we can, and know in our hearts these friendships are of the platinum variety, rare and beautiful, treasured and meaningful. I think friendships such as these come along only a few times in our life, and we recognize them quickly.
The nature of life keeps many of us from seeing any of our friends to the extend we might like or enjoy. Our work schedules often do not mesh, we have family obligations as well as home life to attend to. My biggest disappointment is when a friend makes little or no effort to meet halfway and commune even briefly on some level. I quickly dissolve my disappointment though, any relationship is not 50/50, but 100/100, so when one has less than their all to give, it is still a full relationship, with one taking up the slack in the situation. It is not an ideal or perfect world we live in, but perhaps looking at one another's ideas and values with friendships serves us with good purpose and reminders. It helps us define whom we are, what we want, what we are able to give and commit to. Since all of us have different expectations and definitions as well as needs in friendship, this way we might better understand why some are not in tune to it the same as we might be.
As always, I strive for balance and to maintain my equilibrium in my life and the lives of others I may touch of influence. Friendships were and are important in my own life.
