Forgiveness and Self-forgiveness

From repeated observation, it seems folks have a hard time forgiving others. Even more remarkable to me, is that they have an even more difficult time forgiving themselves. People love to bury themselves in up to their eyeballs in  self reproach and condemnation. I can identify with such acts, as I have participated in such things many times in my life. In order to get past the issue and the feelings of worthlessness at our own hands, we need to learn how to forgive ourselves as rapidly as we possibly can. Many people just continue to be masochistic and berate themselves over and over again, missing one of the most important facets of mistakes and wrong doings completely.

So, you say, what is that most important facet of mistakes and of wrong doings? Simple indeed, the lesson contained within the mistake is so much more important to grasp onto and not let go of than the reproach and berating language some folk are compelled to bow down to. Recognizing the lesson within helps us to forgive ourselves, as we are human and fallible, we are built that way in case you were not aware of this fact. To be able to truly learn anything successfully, we need to have errors, for the error embeds a sort of marker one can refer to in future situations that are of a similar nature. Sometimes  the whole process is so simple we tend to miss the lesson all together, and we continue to beat ourselves up.

Of course, we need to seek forgiveness from others when we have wronged them. Most of us were taught that basic lesson when we were much younger, though some doggedly refuse to ever forgive anyone, themselves included, any kind of forgiveness whatsoever. Therein lies the key to the whole forgiveness realm, so to speak. When we can sufficiently and properly forgive others, we can then forgive ourselves. It is equally important to do both for us to learn, grow and commiserate with others in a meaningful way. From my own personal experience, when I have forgiven another person for a transgression against me, it has been a very freeing thing. Equally so when I have forgiven myself something I have done to another or myself, it feels equally good, mending the psyche in seen and unseen ways Think about it, try it, the soul you save may just be your own, setting off a chain that is more healing than you can begin to realize.