Levels of Disappointment

One of the most compelling feelings for this woman to deal with are ones of disappointment. That being said, it also depends on the level of disappointment. The dollar scratch-off lottery ticket purchased and no prize revealed is a minor type of disappointment that does not come into mind when I am thinking of disappointment. Perhaps one important thing for each of us to do is to learn to assign levels of disappointment, that way we can toss away items that truly do not deserve our time or our attention. Sometimes when we are amidst in a sea of dis-regulation, we make something small and trivial into something huge and looming. So part of assigning a disappointment level certainly involves being in a state of mind to perform the task in a level-headed manner.

I would assign four levels for disappointment events in my own life. Level one would be small events that I just need to mourn very slightly then toss away once I have gleaned the lesson from the experience. Level two would be experiences that upset me, but not to a level that anyone else noticed other than myself. Level three would be situations where others that knew me well noticed my disappointment and might ask of me what is wrong. Level four would be all out disappointment, the kind that everyone and anyone would be aware of my angst and despair. I am grateful that level four disappointments for this woman have not been as common as the ones and twos, too many level fours might mean some kind of emotional meltdown with far reaching effects on the psyche. I think assignment of levels is a purely personal one, what defines levels for me might clearly be very different for anyone else, it is all about individual situations, tolerance level, where your life stands at this moment and other factors.

Once we have assigned the disappointment level within our own mind, then we can more clearly see what kind of actions we may need to take, and may even be able to process the incident right there and then and be rid of it. well mostly. As a female of the human species, I am well aware of the female trait of need for repeated processing of much of life events. Seems our sex needs to digest and re-digest happenstances to make sense of it and place it in a frame of reference. Ridding ourselves of disappointments on our lowest levels frees us to move forward while taking the information, and possibly lesson, from the occurrence and get on with the business of living. Defining the issue helps us to see what happened more clearly, process the information, and figure out if there are any next steps to take.Sometimes our action may involve others, and presenting the situation to them to get an outside opinion of whether or not we need to kick the item to the curb, or take more aggressive action on it.

Crazy as it may sound, we may need to write notes to assist us in assessing the level and also create a point of reference that we can later go back to and with a clearer mind see if we were in a bad spot at the time, in a state of hormonal influence, or truly in need of further process and attention to the event or situation. Sometimes having the control to do all this may be very difficult, but for our own sanity and grace, it is of the utmost importance to gather the strength from within ourselves to maintain equilibrium, mostly for ourselves and sometimes for others we love and cherish. Putting it down in some sort of written fashion helps us process it, remember it accurately and immediately channel our situation into a more controlled environment that we will not regret at later points in time. In a few words, avoid the drama, at all costs.

So, the first step in handling disappointments is level assignment. The next steps will come more logically and freely once one has assessed things and decided yea or nay on further credence to something that may not matter the next day, or for that matter the next hour or minute. 

~balance in all things~