Negative Familiarity

     I often wonder what possesses people to stay involved with someone or something that has not been a good thing for them. I witness this all the time, women stay with men that are bad boys, that steal from them in countless ways, or just plain treat them badly.The same conditions hold true for men with women as well. If someone has some good points, often we try to convince ourselves that if we just hold on, they will change, or perhaps life will become somehow different for us. Truth is, as long as we continue to accept the situation as is, very little or no change will occur to make any concrete difference.Perhaps some people, men AND women, become addicted to things that are not good for them. I am not talking your run of the mill thing that is too fattening, unhealthy or bad for you in countless ways. I am talking about life stealing, contentment robbing, financial ruining, BAD kinds of situations. The addicted person so often seems bound to another person that is addicted to one thing or another. They treat you poorly, take constantly from you on multiple levels, and do not give back in any way, shape or form. Do these individuals have such poor self-esteem that they hang on to someone or something that they feel is the best they can do or will receive in life. I know some that are addicted to bad people, the misbehaving type that is always in trouble, but gee they excite you on a level you never have felt before. If you are constantly using them as an excuse why your life is the way it is, then part of the problem is YOU. People only use us when we LET them, simply put, if we tolerate, then they will continue said behavior to infinity. Perhaps we need this person for our excuse for staying "stuck", we can not abandon them or they will not survive. You may say, Robin, this is none of your business. In most respects it is not, but when witnesses multiple instances of someone you interact with on a regular basis getting used and allowing it, such observation starts to boggle the mind and create bother as well as wonder. When it starts to make a mark on one's soul, then I have to justify it, rationalize it or work towards removal of the offending parties. My psyche just cannot tolerate negativity on this level at all.
     Key in this equation that it is THEIR life, not mine. When their life intersects with mine and it starts to have an effect on my own well-being and soul, then it is time for me to take the bull by the horns and either work to help them effect change, or remove them from my life to eliminate it from my circle of life. Despite the main issue being THEIR issue, when it gravitates into my realm, then action of some sort must be made.I have to keep my sanity and realm calm for me and those I hold near and dear. Let them continue with their devil-may-care behavior, but I for one do not need continued drama to occur in my homestead.
     Their own behavior is their responsibility at this point, not mine. My head shaking and observations have not changed them OR their behavior one iota. I choose not to tolerate them or their lifestyle any longer. If it has caused me pain and suffering, even if they cannot or choose not to see it, it is my own responsibility to remove the offending party and situation as swiftly, yet kindly as permissible. I find no need to do like harm to them, they suffer already and seem not to mind it, but I do not need to heap an extra helping of harm on their already unsteady plate of life. It is my own form of Hippocratic oath, first do no harm. This simple formula helps one have a decent life, without too much regret or worry over payback, either from the individual, or the universe. Kind of like the golden rule we learned, well most of us, as small children. It is part of being a reasonable, responsible and healthy individual, and following some of those basic tenets we learned at the knee will help us have a good life and create positive ripples in the world itself.

                                                          ~~~balance in everything~~~