Respectfully Yours

I recall a time when life was simpler, or else I had less knowledge and worries. A time where people were courteous and respectful to one another and thought before they spoke or acted. If you really wanted to know someone's opinion, you asked it and most times they gave it and in a decent manner for the most part. If you did not want an opinion most times no one gave it to you unsolicited. People had troubles, sure, but most did not feel the need to publicize them and try to elicit pity or a cheering squad. You knew people well enough to know and support them as you could and would. You knew people well enough, those close to you at least, to know their dislikes, likes and the like. You may not always have agreed, but you chose to be respectful and appreciate their choices as best you could.  It was a slower time in terms of technology, but looking things up manually was not as horrid as one might think.  We played outside, rode bikes places and had no gadgetry to speed up meal preparation, and no digital dictionary. We added numbers using pen and pencil on paper, calculators came later, but were seldom allowed in exams.We spent time with one another, friends made time for each other, family had meaning and was not placed on the back burner. We were busy then also, but in a different way. Perhaps many of my memories translate to the way I was brought up, and our value systems are all different as day and night. Seems a key element is that is missing is simple respect for all people and things.

Recently as I peruse social media pages, I am happy to see so many acquaintances and see their mostly positive posts. A few closer friends as well as family are there as well, and I am pleased to be able to see their posts as well as what is going on in their lives. I also have connections from high school days, past workplaces and individuals who either play the same online games I play, or did, and see their postings and mostly enjoy staying abreast of their worlds.On social media, as in everyday day to day real life, there are negativities and things that border on just plain idiotic. I glance at those and move on, grateful to not be in their galaxy any more.Then there is the vague post, where it is a hook to get you involved in their drama du jour.  Politics and causes are rampant, and some of those posts are meaningful and factual, which is a lot more than I can say about much of our media stream these days. It has been enlightening to see who is for what cause or what politico running for office. I care not to discuss politics online, but respect others like of doing so. Other people are like the traveling salesmen of days gone by, selling their wares to the consumer, only in an electronic/digital way. It is an interesting way to access products you wish to own and makes life easy in some ways.Then there are those who like to label themselves and align themselves to a specific group or type of person, for me that is a kin to needing to belong or make an excuse for why they do what and as they do.  For myself, I try to post glimpses into my life as well as memes that I find useful or helpful in some small way. If I do not agree with or like your post I am more likely to send you an offline message than to reply negatively on your page, it is just who I am, and works for me. Most times though I barely know you, now or anymore, so I choose to take no action, unless you have posted something that is an untrue urban legend type of thing, then I might respond and direct you to Snopes.com where you can, and should, check out the validity of what you are so fiercely aligning yourself to or with. Mostly I find recipes I like, products I enjoy, crafts I hope to someday find time for and such pleasantries as that to post to my Pinterest page for perusal at a later time. I might also post something to one of my three adult children's pages that struck a chord for me, as well as family members that are on social media. Once again the bottom line comes down to respect, and I have been guilty of not giving that sometimes. I strive to keep my respect meter in place, and sometimes will comment, then quickly either not hit the enter button, or remove said post in a short time. I guess for the most part I want to create as much harmony in a world where the disharmonious seems oh so rampant and out of control lately.

You may ask why do I blog such as I am right now. Its a need I have to put my thoughts and feelings out in the written word. I am not a novelist nor an author, no intentions of being either. I am a human and have a love of words and writing my feelings out into words that are cohesive, at least to me. You may choose to read or ignore, and I respect your decision to do what is best for you in this matter and all things in life, provided it hurts no one else. With that I remain, respectfully yours. 

Tolerance

Tolerance is being patient, understanding and accepting of anything different

Tolerance is that quality that I have possessed for many years. In fact, it goes back to my childhood days and was learned at a young age through many events that made me stronger, wiser, but often saddened by the intolerance and indifference shown by others. As I have gotten older, I find my tolerance dwindling to a degree. I tend to no longer mince words or keep my opinion to myself. I tire of people promising things and never doing even one bit of what they say they will do. I used to clam up and say nothing, now I tend to tell someone exactly how I feel, but without cruelty, just unabashed honest truth. I like the older me, I am less likely to get walked on, I know exactly who I can and who I cannot count on. My friends basically are countable on just one hand, and we are not talking "friends" as defined in the social media realm. I never worried much about makeup, hair, clothes, styles or trends. I still feel that way. Sure I can dress up and polish myself when the occasion calls for it, but mostly I wear comfortable clothes and shoes, no make up and wear my hair short. I do most of my clothes shopping online, I am one of those women who truly does not like shopping for such things. I love to try new products, and love colognes, lotions and perfumes. What I wear, how I dress, and all that jazz, I do for me and not for those around me. In my work life, I dress according to our dress code policy. I value being employed and want to keep a low profile in that respect, no sense in sticking out like a sore thumb. I do not enjoy sports, either watching or attending, and for that I will not apologize. I do not enjoy watching television, when a show interests me, I wait until it is out on Netflix and stream it, watching in short binges for my own enjoyment. I read mainly news articles and very little fiction. I enjoy true crime writers the very best of all. As a teenager, I read Truman Capote's In Cold Blood, and was totally engrossed in it. While it was, and is, a frightening account of criminal and horrible acts committed, I was stunned yet could not stop reading .To this day I still read mostly true crime novels. In high school, I read some romance writers, Victoria Holt being amongst them. It was the genre most of my friends read, and to fit in, I read it too. Fast forward to my days of my first apartment and true independence. I stopped reading romance then, most of it is formulated and trite, and easily guessed as to what the outcome will be. I respect that it sells well and it is a great form of entertainment for many, but it is just not my cup of tea at all. I dislike labels and those that people attach to others as well as themselves, I even wrote about this recently. I find many on social media as well as people I once hung with or was a friend to and with seem to need to label themselves for identity purposes or even for an excuse. I listen to them intently and will often ask them, so, you need an excuse why you do this or that? I follow up with, why not just say you do not enjoy this or like to do that and have it at that? Seems people need labels as an excuse or rational behind what they do or do not do.  I do not follow political posts to a great deal either, its just who I am. Yes, I am aware of who is running, what they stand for and all that detail, but in the end, my vote will be cast on my own opinion, and not someones rambles on social media. Having once been the brunt of personal affronts and attacks, I feel pain when I see someone being treated or spoken of unkindly. That being said, I try to treat everyone as kindly as possible, given whatever the situation at hand. Each work day for a ten hour period, I do customer service, both outbound and inbound calls, thankfully no sales are involved. I treat each person with respect, even though at times the person on the other end of the phone is less than that to me. I am an ambassador to the company I am employed by, I am paid to keep an even keel and provide the best possible service and answers I am able to.It is really simple and easy to do. I find in my day to day life when dealing with the public, I am pretty much the same way, non-judgmental, non-confrontational and a good listener. In fact, immodestly I will say my listening skills are my number one attribute along with being empathetic and understanding. That brings me to my subject I began with, tolerance. Those I do not know well I tolerate to a different extent and rationale that those I am more familiar with. Why, you may ask? Well, those I do not know I truly do NOT know. I am not familiar with their life, the events and all of the small and large details, so I give the benefit of the doubt. Others that I know to a greater extent, I have more information on and know when they need tolerance and when they are just being a brat, plain and simple. Those I am closest to, get my most tolerance, for I know them intimately and know the extent and detail of their suffering and what they have endured. Then there are yet others, whom I once knew pretty well, but time and circumstances have distanced us and when I reunite with them on social media, I either am as tolerant as ever, or I find myself irritated at them and how they have changed from whom they used to be, or appeared to be back in the day. I feel saddened to think that someone I once knew so well has changed so much, but then again, so have I. I have had a life no more exciting or ordinary than most, but my life is just that, MINE. No one can live it for me, and I need to make myself and those in my small circle happy and content with where we are. I no longer have time to try to convince past friends to meet up and have coffee or go to a movie or dinner, if we wanted to be in one another's life, we would, plain and simple. I used to feel badly that others did not stay in touch with me or even try, but even that is a two way street. I do have people I rarely see, but when we do get together, it is just as though no time has passed and we are immediately in sync once again, much like a comfortable sweater, well worn and loved. We do not need to brag or speak in volumes of our successes and such trite things. We speak of our life, and what has happened since we last got together. It is not about one oneupmanship  it IS about reconnecting and staying in tune with them as best we can in the short time we have to play catch up.So, basically I have just prattled on about this and that, but I needed to say things and this blog is the best way for me to express myself. No one may ever read this, and even if they do, they may not understand. It is okay, this I do for me, and if it helps someone else along the way, then it is a good thing. After all, life is not a competition and it is not a stage play, a novel or anything close to it. It is what we make it, and we all are only in it for a short while, so make it the best you can.